Nadia

 
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1. How did you meet him?

Its a bit unconventional maybe especially since I was a big sceptic when it came to the web for something as serious as this, but I met my husband on a matrimonial website Pure Matrimony (*No affiliation with Single Muslima Solutions ). However my husband likes to say the credit doesn't entirely go to the website because we didn't use it at all except for just getting in touch! Basically he was fed up and I was fed up and the last message he responded to was mine and he closed his account after that thinking it’s a waste of time. I'd like to mention that it took us almost 6-7 months to be sure of our feelings and tomorrow will be exactly 1 year since we started talking. So yeah a lot of time and energy and patience has been invested this past 1 year Alhamdulillah.

2. What made him different to the others guys you had met?

Like I said before, this amazing mixture of acceptance, respect and appreciation. To be very honest, he was not at all the type of person I was looking for. Nothing in my list matched..I wasn't sure if I was just wasting my time or leading him on to something that won't materialise, but the one thing that kept me clinging to it was the way he never let my past or my flaws bring me down. I'm an extreme introvert and I'm not as confident as I'd like to be . And in most previous cases, I've always had to explain myself at least once....give an account or defend myself. So when he would appreciate my qualities and say that I'm not damaged in any way...it gave me confidence. I had started smiling a lot during those days! 

3. Looking back what was different about your mindset that brought you to the right guy?

There were a lot of things I had to seriously access. I realised that my list was flawed and my religious requirements were too customised. I wasn't totally inflexible but I probably didn't want to take a risk with someone who was trying to be better. I was maybe a little judgmental and too scared because of my past experiences. So I accepted the fact that he is not very religious, but wants to be better and wants to learn.

4)What did you learn in your coaching journey that would help ladies who currently feel stuck in their search and who are fed up of meeting the wrong guys?

I don't think there's a set pattern or there's a particular formula...its all in Allah's hands. He opened my husband's heart for me because I wasn't his type either. When I ask him what made him choose me, he says 2 things, patience and kindness. My sincere advice to all the sisters and I know it sounds very weird, but please be kind and patient when talking to someone as a prospect. Of course not when they're a loser in all senses! But otherwise if someone is taking a little time, be patient...and try not to judge too soon. Also, try to look for the positives as much as possible, and most importantly, keep Allah always in the process.

 
Soraya Soobhany-Chohan