Single And Doing Just Fine Thank You!


When looking for a suitable image for this article I came across so many images of women jumping in the air with glee or open armed breathing in ocean air or sitting in a huge field looking at the horizon.

But that is not the clichee I wish to perpetuate in this article.

This article is just an honest look at how single Muslim women are finding happiness and contentment as their single selves.

So many articles, interviews and aunties describe the growing number of single Muslim women over 30 as some kind of epidemic or disease that is infiltrating our ummah. Yes there is an issue with Muslim women (and men) struggling to find a suitable spouse and this is a whole separate issue.

But there is a growing number of Muslim women who are perfectly content as their single selves. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they do not have hopes of finding their other half. It just means that they are comfortable as they are right now and are in a great place to receive the right guy if and when he comes along.

So many women have found themselves run ragged in the search for a spouse, filled with despair, under ridiculous amounts of pressure that often lead to quite serious consequences such as low self esteem, lack of confidence and depression. 

They have found themselves the object of ridicule and prejudice in their families and communities and they are often looked down upon for being not only 30 and single but sometimes 30 and childless . 

It is at this point that so many women have said STOP! Enough is enough. And they have chosen to not be subjected to this anymore.

They are loving life in their own terms, doing things that bring them fulfillment and contentment, mixing with people who make them feel good about themselves and going to places where they will not be judged. 

They understand and honour their right to be happy and their right not to feel ashamed something they have no control over. They understand that if they are going to create and nurture and meaningful marriage that it starts with them.

 They are taking time to work through their negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. They are giving themselves the gift of self love and ensuring that their needs are met for once instead of just doing everything for everyone else. 

They are content to acknowledge that the right man will come along when they are in the right place to receive him and they have removed any sort of deadline from their lives. 

As a singles coach I cannot be proud enough of these women. It takes a brave Muslim woman to stand up and to take a step back and take care of herself before she decides to take care of the needs of a husband. 

Soraya Soobhany-Chohan