Yes I Live Alone And I Love It!


I was 29 when I made the exciting and adventurous decision to move out of my parental home and live alone. 

I'd had zero luck finding a spouse and whilst my father would have happily begged me to live at home until I was collecting my pension, I felt that it was time to be my own woman and create a life of my own.

But oh what a landmine that was to navigate when it came to finding a spouse!

If you are reading this right now it’s probably because you live alone. You've either bought a property (yay you!) or you are renting a place. 

Here are 3 of the most important things to consider when searching for a spouse as a woman who lives alone:

1. Do I tell him I live alone?

Honesty is crucial and all but do you want to mention to someone you have just met that you live alone? Maybe there is an issue of safety and vulnerability and not really knowing much about the guy. Or maybe you just want to avoid all the "can I come over?" that seems inevitable the moment you mention you live alone. I often used to say that I lived with my sister which, for me, was a happy medium as it showed I was independent but that I wasn’t alone.

2. Do I mention that I own a property?

This is such a tricky one. If the guy you are meeting does not own his own property there can be a real inferiority complex to deal with. Some guys won't even consider a woman who is further up the property ladder than he is for fear he will look less manly! Then of course you have the other end of the issue where you fear a hungry eyed man see your property as his own pot of gold one day and you don't know whether he is as interested in you as he is your home.

3. Do I accept lifts home?

For reasons of safety I'd never recommend this anyway. I know there's this whole gentlemanly aspect to walking or dropping a lady home. But do you really want him to know where you live? Do you subsequently want to risk him just popping round one day? As a rule I’d say no, especially in the beginning or at least until you’ve got to know him better and feel you can trust him.

Sadly this should not even be an issue but it's no secret that searching for a spouse goes hand in hand with all kinds of cultural baggage and the idea of a lady living alone is still an anomaly. By all means do not meet every guy with distrust but do consider the possible implications of being 100% open about your living situation if you feel it might impact on the way things develop.

Soraya Soobhany-Chohan